The question most parents ask is "when?" We think a better question is "what, and in what order?"
Children do not go from a tricycle to a car. They move through stages, gaining skill and judgement as they go, with an adult alongside them. A child's relationship with technology can work exactly the same way. Each stage gives a child what they need at that age, and no more than they can handle.
Stage 1
Primary school years
A simple device that lets a child call home, lets you see where they are, and lets them get on with being a child. A GPS watch or a basic phone with contacts you have chosen does this well. What it does not do is put an infinite feed in their pocket.
Stage 2
Early secondary school
A phone that sends messages, makes calls and not much else. This is where a young person learns the basics of digital life: replying to a friend, arranging a lift, learning when to put the phone down. They practise these skills without the pull of an algorithm designed to keep them scrolling.
Stage 3
When they are ready, and we would encourage families to aim for 16
Full internet, social media, the lot. By this stage a young person has a track record with a simpler device, a clearer sense of who they are and a brain that is further along in developing the impulse control they will need. The digital age of consent in Ireland is 16. There is a reason for that. Even at this stage, we would encourage parents to keep monitoring how the phone is being used, and to keep talking with their teenager about protecting their mental health around social media in particular.
We want to say this plainly, because it matters. This pathway is a guide, not a test. Some families will follow it exactly. Some will move faster or slower. Some will have already given a smartphone and will now be thinking about what comes next. None of that puts you on the wrong side of anything.
The pressure we are trying to remove is the pressure children put on each other and the pressure that lands on parents as a result. We will not replace it with a new kind of pressure from other parents. You will always be welcome here, whatever stage your family is at.
Some children need a smartphone or connected device for their health or their communication. Glucose monitors, hearing technology, communication aids, apps that support a child's care. These are not what this pathway is about. If your child uses technology for a medical or developmental need, you have our full support, and we would ask every family in the community to understand that a phone in a child's hand is not always what it looks like.
